It is not love, just a syndrome, manifested by an emotionally undecided person. In a relationship, it appears and disappears, and at the same time gives assurances that he loves. Because he seems credible, he often gets chances. This kind of interaction causes pain and emotional dependence to the one who offers the chances. The relationship is a burden and a waste of time, and the path it takes is called NOWHERE.
Who is the person who suffers from the syndrome "neither with you nor without you"?
I found about the existence of the syndrome "neither with you nor without you" from the psychotherapist Walter Riso. In the book "How not to die because of love" he explains the causes of indecisive behavior in a love relationship.
These people have a distorted form of love. Their problem is that they literally think they love. Therefore, they also suffer, not only the partners they tease with "neither with you, nor without you". According to Walter Riso, the main causes of the syndrome are: sexual addiction, fear of loneliness, fear of emotional commitment and guilt. In different situations, they may occur simultaneously or separately.
Sexual attraction is perceived as a feeling of love. Therefore, after consuming the sexual adventure, the person suffering from the syndrome "neither with you, nor without you" quarrels with his partner or distances himself from him.
For people who suffer from loneliness, "the couple is a palliative to cope with a lonely life. Intolerance of loneliness makes us avoid it. Some even get married," says Walter Riso. Some people with "neither with you nor without you" syndrome do not want to fall in love. They are afraid that they will become emotionally addicted and lose their freedom. As a result, as soon as the feelings appear, they move away, trying to temper them or disappear forever.
Others behave indecisively because of guilt. They feel guilty that they no longer love their partner, a feeling that prevents them from leaving the relationship. "Being with someone to lessen the guilt is a nonsense that ends up exacerbating the other's suffering," says Walter Rise.
Is it worth loving someone who can't do it with us or us?
Here is what the psychotherapist recommends: "Anyone can become a victim of emotional indecision. The premise that you must remember well and that will work later as an immunity factor is this: if someone has doubts that he loves you, it means that he does not love you.